So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
please come you make the beer taste better
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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