lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
