I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
