That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
