Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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