I wish i was in the wii world.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize