he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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