I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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