He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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