How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
