We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
