And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
