omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
