so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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