am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
