so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
