found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
