Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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