So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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