she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
