Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
