So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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