I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
