Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
soo... how was my night?
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