Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize