bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize