Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
