hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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