is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
