Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
