If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She's better-looking with the mask on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
