just tell him i said nine months
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
