Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
