the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize