Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
