don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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