if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
