rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
