omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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