I wanna bring you to show and tell
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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