Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
