You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do vagina's smell?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
