i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
