i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
