I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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