Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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