Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
