Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
