Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
even my farts smell like vagina
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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