Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
