He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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