that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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