There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
