after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
