Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
