I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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