I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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