If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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