Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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