Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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