im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
